Wishies for Mommy

Thinking about how to tell your parents you have been diagnosed with a brain tumor is not a conversation one believes they will ever have. At least I never imagined myself having to do this. “You just have to say it. Call them and say it.” “Fuck. This is terrible.” I decided to call my mom first. Ring, ring. Ring, ring. “Sheila, what are you up to?” “Oh, I just finished teaching a class so I thought I’d call to say hi.” “Oh, that’s so nice of you.” After some small chat and talking about our past couple days, I mention I have something else to tell her. “So I thought my CT scan was clear, but the nurse called me a few days ago and said she didn’t realize I had two separate CT scans. One with contrast and one without.” I hear my mom’s throat tighten. “She said there was an incidental finding of something called a meningioma brain tumor on the second scan and they will be referring me to neurology. She said it’s no big deal and they will probably just keep an eye on it. I have d...

Thursday afternoon while my son was watching his show, I pull up Mayo Clinic on my phone. “How in the world do you get an appointment at this place?” “Fill out this form or give us a call during these hours.” “Okay, I’ll just give them a call.” “We can see you next Monday or next Tuesday.” Gulp. “Umm, how about I take Tuesday. What time is available?” “One moment. We have an 8:30am with the neurologist and then you will see the neurosurgeon at 10:15am.” “Okay, I will be there.” Later that evening, while cleaning up dinner. “Chris, I called Mayo Clinic and they are able to see me Monday or Tuesday. I chose Tuesday since E and I already have plans to attend the farm class on Monday. I didn’t expect them to get me in so soon. Usually it takes months. I know you will be starting your new job on Monday, so I’ll ask my dad to go with me. It won’t be a big deal.” “Okay, I wish I could be with you, but I understand we just need to get this done.” “Yeah, I wish you could come with ...

The next day, as my husband and I were in passing, “Hey, maybe I should try and get an appointment at Mayo Clinic. They would be the place I’d go if someone said they needed to do surgery, just to get their opinion. They say it’s nothing to worry about, but since it’s my brain, I guess I’d prefer to go to the best.” “Sure, I think that sounds reasonable.” “It will probably take months to get in there so I can always cancel it, but it would be good to have an appointment in case I need another opinion.” “Okay, let me know what you find out. Has the scheduling department called you yet from your doctor’s office?” “No, I’m sure it will take a few days. It usually does. I’ll call down to Mayo this week and ask about an appointment.”

The call came in around 8:20am on Tuesday, February 19, 2019. It was the physician's assistant at the ENT office. “Sheila, I know we just spoke on Friday about your CT scan results, but I didn’t realize that you actually had two separate scans. One with contrast and one without. The second results just came back and there was an incidental finding on that scan. You have something called a meningioma, it’s a type of brain tumor. The doctor is referring you to neurology. It will likely be something they will just keep an eye on and nothing to worry about. It’s small. Our scheduling department will be in touch within the next few days.” She asked me if I had any questions, but I honestly didn't know what to ask. I never knew anyone with a brain tumor before. I hung up the phone in complete disbelief. My husband was working from home that day so I sent him a text saying, “I need to talk to you. I’m about to lose my mind.” He comes flying up the stairs, “What’s the matter? A...